Weary

I liked to think that I don't truly despise anyone, that the most I feel is annoyance, dislike (especially to people superior in some ways). Army showed that for the lie it is. There I discovered what hatred was, how it feels to want to turn that bloody rifle on the idiot near me. Not because he's incompetent, or weak(who am i to talk about weakness). But for sheer arrogance and attitude. It was also the closest I ever got to outright fighting. Not pleasant memories, those, but definitely worth remembering because ugly as they were, they did help take me out of my shell. And the result of that was OCS, which was probably one of the best things that happened to me. I didn't realise it then, but that was the start of the arduous (not long, thankfully) path that's now brought me here into med, and ultimately into this post in medsoc. And for that, I suppose, I ought to thank the army...

Equal measures of irritation and guilt; for 15 years now we've had to make sacrifices for u, accomodate you just because of that blood relation. And I would have gladly given that, and more, if only the act of giving made some kind of impact on you. But no, it never does, does it? You're so absorbed in ur own petty tribulations that u never even see just how much u're imposing on those around you. Things are not getting any better, they're getting worse; please wake up before u ruin all our lives. I hate to put it in such selfish terms, but I'm sick and tired of this neverending drama; for once please let home be the refuge it's supposed to be.

It's amusing, in a sad way, that history's repeating itself right in front of our disbelieving eyes. On multiple levels. And while we're there, it worries me to see my patience dwindle to such alarming levels. Stop here, please, I don't want to degenerate any further...

Replies:

YeekS: thankew =)
Archana: Better late than never i guess. Thanks too =)
Clare: Please do! Run i mean, not bully :P haha. U dun need to worry about that happening for a loong loong time yet...

"Do you wrestle with dreams? Do you contend with shadows? Do you move in a kind of sleep? Time has slipped away. Your life is stolen. You tarried with trifles, Victim of your folly"

-Frank Herbert