Dark things
Sick and tired of suppressing feelings I "shouldn't" be feeling, and forcing myself to feel things I should. Any respect, any love I had for you has been eroded away to almost nothing, and yet you still carry on throwing ur weight around here. It's all I could do to stop myself from screaming back the things that crossed my mind today. I've even stopped feeling guilty that I think such things anymore, for I'm not alone feeling such things here in this house. Talk about adaptation...
It's a problem that everyone who plays aunt or uncle agony faces; those who spend time hearing out others' problems, and talking them through it come to expect that the same would happen to them when the roles are reversed. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way. I've been very fortunate in this department, but that was not before discovering that not everyone who've poured out their problems to me are willing to reciprocate. Luckily for me I've found the special few who have been there when i needed them. To one of this number, let me just repeat that I personally value your opening up all the more because it's so rare. Here's hoping ur pain resolves in the best way possible...
Last week has been a reminder not to take things for granted, that people and situations do change, and that clinics are a potent catalyst for changes in dynamic. Things here have not turned out entirely as I expected them too, but I was guilty of being too optimistic. It's a blessing though, that the situation here's still good enough that I look forward to clinics daily, despite using up most of my energy stores in doing so. And for that, there's one person I especially owe thanks to, though I don't think you will be reading this. More's e pity...
For all my smug posturing, I remain a damn poor judge of situation, and e characters involved. And this, too, has been shown to me this past week. Maybe it's because I'm too willing to let things influence my judgement, or maybe it's just that I'm a blockhead. Hope this remains in memory for a while yet, cos I dun relish finding out the hard way...
2 weeks more of CSFC, and then back to hols. I've looked forward to them for quite long, but now there seems to be depressingly little to do. PLease do help me fill my hols, those of you who're hanging around...
Replies:
Tousif: A while since cafe cartel heh. Take care man, and cya here soon...
Clare and nat: Missing you guys too :( never thought i'd look forward to lecs haha
kevin:yo bro! haha. we're trying to recreate those days, but u never seem to be around!! Gotta catch up sometime, yes...
"Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile..."
It's a problem that everyone who plays aunt or uncle agony faces; those who spend time hearing out others' problems, and talking them through it come to expect that the same would happen to them when the roles are reversed. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way. I've been very fortunate in this department, but that was not before discovering that not everyone who've poured out their problems to me are willing to reciprocate. Luckily for me I've found the special few who have been there when i needed them. To one of this number, let me just repeat that I personally value your opening up all the more because it's so rare. Here's hoping ur pain resolves in the best way possible...
Last week has been a reminder not to take things for granted, that people and situations do change, and that clinics are a potent catalyst for changes in dynamic. Things here have not turned out entirely as I expected them too, but I was guilty of being too optimistic. It's a blessing though, that the situation here's still good enough that I look forward to clinics daily, despite using up most of my energy stores in doing so. And for that, there's one person I especially owe thanks to, though I don't think you will be reading this. More's e pity...
For all my smug posturing, I remain a damn poor judge of situation, and e characters involved. And this, too, has been shown to me this past week. Maybe it's because I'm too willing to let things influence my judgement, or maybe it's just that I'm a blockhead. Hope this remains in memory for a while yet, cos I dun relish finding out the hard way...
2 weeks more of CSFC, and then back to hols. I've looked forward to them for quite long, but now there seems to be depressingly little to do. PLease do help me fill my hols, those of you who're hanging around...
Replies:
Tousif: A while since cafe cartel heh. Take care man, and cya here soon...
Clare and nat: Missing you guys too :( never thought i'd look forward to lecs haha
kevin:yo bro! haha. we're trying to recreate those days, but u never seem to be around!! Gotta catch up sometime, yes...
"Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile..."
- Judith Guest
posted by SunderB @ 10:37 pm
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