Last night

I was doing night call one evening half a year ago; all alone in SGH O&G. It was a Saturday, so there were no medical students around at all, and the lounge was locked up. Doctors were ignoring me as usual, and I was feeling miserable and pissed off, on the verge of leaving. Just before I did so, however, somehow I got into a conversation with the HO on call, one Glenn Neo. I soon discovered that he had done his elective in Edinburgh. His exact words: "it was the best time of my life"

I didn't doubt his words then, but they were just words. Now they have crystallised into experience for me, and I feel exactly the same way. Quite apart from the sheer beauty of the city, and the places we've seen here (these are well chronicled on the other blog), we have been welcomed with open arms by nurses, students and everyone in general. We've fit right in as if we belonged here all along; and that, to me, is one of the most marvellous things about this place I have spent the last one month in.

But perhaps best of all, particularly for me, is the freedom I have enjoyed over this time. Its true my family loves me, and I love them more than life itself. But that love, just like many times in my life before, sometimes stifles as much as it nurtures. Here I've gotten a chance to really spread my wings, and it feels incredibly good.

What do i mean? the freedom to stay out late, the freedom to change plans at the drop of a hat. The freedom to simply book a train ride out to a place hundreds of miles away, and plan out the trip later. The freedom to do wild reckless things like climb up on narrow rock ledges on mountains, or cycle at speed through empty carparks and roads, swerving around vehicles. These are things taken for granted by many of you, but its something I've never ever gotten to do. When I look back on this trip, I have this sneaky feeling that this is what i'll treasure, more than the places we've seen themselves.

Of course, the experience of living alone has also taught me lots. From buying groceries to cooking to housework, things which I have never had need to do I have done, and hardly found it a chore. And I dearly treasure the time spent together, us 3, for I must admit I was really amazed at how smoothly things have gone. I treasure those times we stayed up late, sharing experiences and baring our hearts and minds to each other. Its something that gets rarer and rarer these days, and so all the more precious.

I speak as if its all over, and I'm going back to singapore tmrw. Its true that there's Rome and Lucerne, and even more to see and do over the next 2 weeks. But this will be a holiday, just like 2 yrs ago, and not so much of a new experience. Also, the group has changed, and i dunno if we can hit the sort of equilibrium we've enjoyed over the past few weeks. Whatever the case, looking forward to it still!

Alrite back to the other blog, to finish updates. There probably won't be anything more until we return to sg, so happy holidays, everyone!

I really really do not want to leave this place.

" Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away all the same, knowing she has wings."

-Victor Hugo